I know it’s an audacious claim, but I honestly believe Katy Perry stole my hairstyle. I’ve never met her, but she (and/or her stylist) has some serious explaining to do, as for the last three years, super short platinum hair has been my trademark — and one of the only unique aspects of my persona. And now, without even consulting me, pretty much the biggest popstar in the world has stolen a piece of the platinum pixie pie. (Yes, I’ve been taking photos of Agyness Deyn and Miley Cryus into the salon for years, so this is probably a bit hypocritical — but let's just ignore that.)
Katy Perry is over a decade older than me, and personally, apart from the hair and her wacky style, I don’t see many similarities between us. I don’t have her enviable figure, or her Californian drawl. And my first experience with peroxide and clippers wasn’t inspired by ‘new look, new me’ album promo, but for Year 11 prom, where, along with gold DMs and a futuristic Topshop skater dress, I donned a new hairstyle.
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But despite our differences, since Katy Perry revealed her new 'do in April, I’ve received a deluge of comparisons. I’ve been tagged in tonnes of memes — see most recently this hilarious photo of Cara Delevingne and Katy Perry at Paris Couture Week. And I’ve even been subjected to requests for drunken selfies, from people pissed enough to think I am, in fact, California’s finest girl. (People who have been so drunk that, when I duly admit I’m not actually her, they get angry.)
Not that I’m complaining though, because I bloody love her. Since the release of One of The Boys in 2008 — sorry, I just missed her Christian rock Katy Hudson phase — she’s been my favourite pop star. When I was younger — and awkward looking with buckteeth, glasses and mousey hair, who boys were allergic to — her outrageous style and kickass lyrics were something I aspired to. I even cried my eyes out on the opening night of her documentary, Part of Me, which showed her, whipped cream boobs and all, on her Californian Dreams world tour, as her marriage to Russell Brand dissolved.
So, as a KatyCat, it was obviously a no-brainer to spend the whole day avoiding fluids to stick out five hours on the barrier, so I wouldn’t need a wee, at Glastonbury. When Katy eventually leapt on stage, I presume the combination of me absolutely losing my shit, plus my hair, meant I spent a large portion of time on camera... Because after her set was shown on the BBC, my phone wouldn’t stop pinging as friends and family were relieved I was alive after three days of drinking nothing but straight vodka. (Though perhaps most bizarrely, afterwards, Dan from Bastille – who I’ve had the pleasure of interviewing a couple of times – stopped me on my way to Stormzy to shout at me "I saw you loads on the big screen.")
A few weeks earlier, when I was reporting the Isle of Wight Festival for my local paper, somebody stopped me to say: "I'm a scouser, and you probably don't even know what that means, but I wanted to say thank you for what you did for Manchester." Wincing and embarrassed, I didn’t know what to do, so I yelped “It wasn't me” and hid.
When a video interview I did with Darryl from Run DMC emerged on Facebook, the comments ranged from “there’s a lot of nervous giggling, is she high?” to “dead ringer for Katy Perry.” And on Twitter, another photo of me and Dan from Bastille (again, lol) was retweeted by someone who commented: “I thought this was the real Katy Perry” in Spanish.
Anyway, while I still believe the 32-year-old should be compared to me, as I had the hair first, I’m going to forgive her, as I can totally understand why she’s done it. Short hair takes absolutely no time to style in the morning — and, throughout the day, you don’t have to worry about what it looks like because it inevitably looks the same. Super short hair also really elevates fierce make up looks, meaning false lashes will become your new bff. And, down to my amazing hair stylist Lauren, I also get a load more compliments than I ever did with my natural colour. It’s thanks to all this that I don't plan on changing my style anytime soon, and I hope Katy doesn’t either, because I’m considering starting my own tribute act: Bon Appetit.