The Do's And Don'ts Of Wedding Etiquette

The Do's And Don'ts Of Wedding Etiquette

Here's how to tackle the minefield that is a wedding...

Is there any event more tricksome than a wedding? We're beginning to think not. Especially, after news broke this week about a wedding guest that was asked to amend her gift to the less than grateful couple. The guest who recieved a message from the unhappy bride, took to Mumsnet to explain what had happened:

"I recently attended an ex-colleague's wedding where, in response to a request for cash gifts, I sent what I thought was a pretty decent cheque (£100 if it matters, though I can't help feeling it shouldn't). Last night I received an email which opened with a few comments about how glad they were to see everybody and how generous they'd all been, then said "we were surprised that your contribution didn't seem to match the warmth of your good wishes on our big day. In view of your own position, if you wanted to send any adjustment it would be thankfully received""

Shocking right?  But it got us thinking what are the do's and don'ts when it comes to weddings. We hear a lot about what the happy couple shouldn't or should do but what about guests? So here's our gift to you. The rules to follow to avoid any #awks moments. Here's how to safe out there guys come wedding season...


Do: Wear a waterproof mascara


You will cry. At least wear a decent waterproof mascara to stop the streaks. This could be triggered by any of the following situations:

1. The normally steel face groom getting choked up during his speech as he declares how much he loves his new wife (as he does this she will be gripping his hand and also crying)

2 The bride's father getting emotional talking about how the bride will always be his little girl.

3. The adorable flowergirls and pageboys giggling and playing kiss chase.

4. The DJ playing Nothing Compares To You as you sit alone with a bottle of white wine.



Do: Wear the complimentary flipflops



Yes the crappy wedding band will destroy Brown Eyed Girl but don't roll your eyes as they do and use the 'my feet are hurting' excuse to sit it out. The bride and groom have forked out A LOT of money for them to do so, so the least you can do is don those plastic flipflops (which also will have cost them a hell of a lot to supply) and just dance. Even if you think you can't dance, just do it. It's a wedding. No one is judging. Do the chicken dance. Do the macrena. No one will remember it being cringe. But everyone will remember you sitting in the corner looking moody.


Don't slut drop with the drunk pervy relative...



There's always one distant uncle or friend of the family that gets a little bit over familiar one the dance floor. Keep your best Nicky Minaj Anaconda impressions for when they've finally left the floor.


Do: encourage drinking games


When I mentioned to my colleagues how I had played a great drinking game at my friend's wedding in Ireland, they looked at me in shock. It turns out it's not actually that common to down a shot everytime the best man says: "I wasn't going to say this but..." or to place bets on who is going to give the longest speech with the loser having to buy a round of shots for everyone but hey why the hell not? If you can't down tequila with all your old uni mates, just like you used to at uni then when can you? Hey, why not even clear a table and start a game of beer pong? As Beyonce sings it's all about being 'Drunk In Love'


Don't wear white without asking first...


Sure it's old school but it's polite. The same goes for off-white, ivory and cream. A Whatsapp message to ask if it's ok takes seconds to send. It's much easier than a Whatsapp message to apologise for not asking.

Don't pester the couple with annoying questions such as...



'Where can I park?' and 'Where is the nearest cafe to eat pre ceremony?' They're planning 'the best day of their lives.' They don't have time to less focus on ordering the wedding favours. Google exists for a reason. Use it.


Don't email the couple a list of your dietary requirements...


Unless your a medically diagnosed coealic no one cares what you do and don't eat. Keep your sugar free/ wheat free /dairy free / vegan declarations to yourself and just eat the beef or salmon. It's one day. You can go back to your #eatclean ways tomorrow.


Don't whinge about the plus one situation if you're single...


If you're single and given one, great. Take a friend. Or take that guy you met on Tinder last week. Why not? It's your plus one. You're the one that's going to have to introduce them to everyone and explain how long you've known each other and sit next to them during the ceremony, speeches, dodgy dinner and even dodgier dancing. Hmm, maybe it's not such a great idea after all. But then again who knows? Sure, the bride may be all like 'but I've never even met them' but let's be real, she's not going to be the one hanging out with them. If you're single and not given one, this can also be great. Arguing couples are always jealous of the singles table.

Don't whinge about the plus one situation if you're not single...



When it comes to numbers often the bridal party go all Hunger Games about it. Whether you've been with your current beau for one month or one year, really doesn't matter to them. They're looking at budgets. That +1 symbol on your invite basically comes down to the £££ sign on the spreadsheets they've been obsessing over for the past six months. Try not to take it personally. And hey look on the bright side. At least the following day your left our lover will be feeling fresh to help nurse your hangover. 


Do take loads of photos...



but don't spend the entire day on your phone. There's nothing worse than the ceremony becoming like some sort of rave with endless camera flashes. The couple have more than likely hired a pro photographer so let them do what they're being paid to do. They've also put effort into the seating plan so at least make some IRL conversation with your table. Snapchat is only appropriate to use up to midnight. After that you'll awake to clips you don't remember taking or ones you thought were hilarious but everyone else will count as spam.


Don't break the rules..



If there's a social media ban stick to it. If there's a hashtag use it. Just keep the couple happy by doing what they say.


Don't post unflattering photos of the bride...



No matter how great you look in the shot, it's just not fair. And be wary when using Facetune. The bride doesn't need to discover that you thought her arms needed slimming. Just keep it simple and make sure you've got her from a good angle. When it comes to filters stick to the universal flattering valencia filter.


Don't say you're not a fan of the bridesmaids dresses...


espeically to the bridesmaids. Even if they are complaining. Just remain neutral when it comes to all clothing. The same goes for footwear. And hats.


Don't hog the photobooth...


Yah, we get it, you were a runner up in your university next top model comp but seriously now is not the time to remincise over what could have been. Take one shot, wear the silly pair of oversized sunglasses and then let the next person have a go.


How to write a wedding speech by Jonathan Ross












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