This isn’t a basic ‘boys are gross’ type rant — it’s excellent, don’t get me wrong. On balance, living with solely boys is the best living scenario… No pass-agg texts, no drama, no clothes mysteriously disappearing, no shampoo-being-nearly-empty-though-you haven’t-used-it mares — the list could go on…
BUT there are some little teeny weeny narks about having just home hombres (and I mean ‘normal’ guys, not uber-lads):
- You’ll discover what Sriracha is (if, understandably, you didn’t know about the hot sauce already) because it’s all over everything… The fridge, the sofa cushions, the IRONING BOARD (true story).
- They can’t put clothes out to dry. Even things you didn’t know could crumple are in an extraordinarily small ball of almost unsalvageable fabric.
- There’s never any toilet roll.
- Even the most ‘normal’ of males seem to think the weirdest things are a good idea — bean bags, Buddha head statues, neon light-up signs and basically everything that will make it look like a batchelor pad.
- There will be socks everywhere all the time (but none in pairs).
- You discover even some quite un-protein people do drink protein shakes! And for some reason they come in the biggest ever tubs that makes even the muscliest of ladz look like a Borrower.
- They think shoe piles are ok — your Gucci loafers, your malleable Adidas Gazelles, your structured ankle boots are all in a sorry heap when they ‘tidy’ up.
- Coats — yep, them too.
- There will be beard hair everywhere always, and it’s a real biatch to clear up.
- You’ll become the ‘sensible’ one (read: door man) at a house party.
- You’ll become a mother figure, even if you’re not a naturally maternal girl — it’s inevitable.