Odd Socks, Mother Worship + 13 Things We Learned From Our Ex-Boyfriends

Odd Socks, Mother Worship + 13 Things We Learned From Our Ex-Boyfriends

Have we learned anything?

Relationships, huh? Who'd have them.

Well, all of us right? And despite being one of the trickiest things in the entire world to handle (inlaws, smelly bathrooms, joint Netflix accounts), it turns out that we absolutely LOVE being in love.

Well, that is until it all goes wrong. Horribly wrong.

And it's the worst right? Hell, in fact. The tears. The binge-drinking. The declarations of feminine independence via Facebook. You know the score.

In the post-relationship aftermath we swear off men, we set ourselves staggering #LifeGoals, we come around to the fact that life is better spent single then...well, we fall in love ALL over again - and it's great.

All of a sudden you've forgotten that staggering heartbreak, and all the things you've told yourself you'd NEVER do second time round, you're nailing for a third, fourth, even fifth time.

*sigh*

So, because we've all been there, here are the 15 things we've learned (or not learned, as the case may be) from our past relationships...

1. That boys NEVER say what they mean...
'That's a really nice dress...'

Pfft, like they have a clue.

2. That they can never be anywhere on time...
'5 minutes away' basically means they are speed-eating a McDonald's on the tube.

3. Beers with the lads will ALWAYS take priority...
Accept it.

4. That apparently packing plenty of socks for your two week holiday in Portugal is absolutely essential...
Why?

5. And that no sock can physically stay in a pair...
They end up everywhere, including your handbag.

6. That the 'charm' is saved for hairdressers, your family, and anyone bringing him food...
The smile? The debonair laugh? 'I'm sorry, do I know you?'

7. BBQ's are his thing...
Step away from the garden inferno, he has it all under control.

8. That they can't be trusted with the weekly shop...
Unless multi-packs of Monster Munch and sliced ham is what gets you through the week.

9. ...and that following the weekly shop they will have to open EVERYTHING you've bought, almost immediately.
'I'm starving.'

10. That any meal not involving carbs is basically a salad (and therefore should be avoided at all costs...)
That look of confusion/disgust when you explained what 'courgetti' involved was priceless.

11. That new runners will always take priority over new bathroom towels...
Always.

12. Mum rules his world...
So you'd better start paying homage, or pack those bags lady.

13. You don't know ANYTHING about what it means to own every season of Buffy on VHS...
Along with all the other rubbish he hoards like a crazy person. You don't even own a video player babe. Let it go.

14. That we absolutely think of them every time we see that pub/hear that song/smell that shampoo...
And no, we never quite get over it :(

15. And that finally, despite the heartache, we're ready to do it all over again...
You drive us mad, but thanks for the journey hun... x

Did we miss any? Let us know what you've learned from your ex...

 

 
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