Coco De Mer

Ok, let's talk blow jobs. Or how to give a good blow job, to be precise.

Oral sex is something that we all practise, enjoy, receive and we shouldn't be embarassed to discuss it, or learn more about it. As a species we are inquisitive. We like to improve, evolve, and I don't know about anyone else, but I'm interested in what gets a guy off - especially when giving head. I want to be the absolute best at it. And I don't think I'm alone.

Well gals (and guys), there happens to be a series of classes now available to help us improve our sexual technique. Classes that will enhance your oral skills, as well as providing information about what is truly going on with a man's bits when one does decide to 'venture south'...so to speak. Did I really just quote Alan Partridge? Yes, yes I did.

Coco de Mer’s ‘Salons In The Art Of Seduction’ are a new way of educating oneself in all things erotic, and I was very kindly invited along to their ‘Playing The Flute’ session to hear more about what counts as fantastic fellatio.

Taught by the mischievous (and ridiculously knowledgeable) Master Dominic, this oral masterclass covered everything from balls to bums, and I have to say, I left the evening feeling enlightened. I mean, learning blow job tips from a man? It's a no-brainer, right?

So, how do you give the perfect blow job? Let Master Dominic show you the way...

1. The Build Up

The one thing Master Dominic stressed throughout the class was enthusiasm. There is often this myth that for men, no blow job is a bad blow job: Master Dominc calls BS on that. Men do care, and they can tell if you aren't into it. 

Along with making sure everything is lubed up (v. important) Master Dominic emphasised the importance of pre-BJ foreplay and focusing on stimulating the area around the penis. This can be the absolute game-changer.

‘Whenever I've received really great head but haven't had the rest of the area played with it always stands out as a bit of a lost opportunity, so I think that's what I'd put most of the emphasis on,’ he told me.

‘The more the entire area is switched on and stimulated, the more signals get sent to the tip of a man’s penis, making it even more sensitive and ready to start working towards an orgasm. If you never have, try starting the blowjob by playing with his balls and working up and see how much his toes are curling (in the good way) by the time you actually put him in your mouth.’

2. Intimacy

Intimacy is key to giving the perfect blow job. Fact. None of this porn star shizz, not for Master Dominic. He encouraged us to 100% maintain body contact throughout - aside from penis in mouth - even if it's just a hand on the chest, thigh or hip. Having your man sit upright whilst you go down on him is another way to create a connection. You both want to enjoy the experience, right? Enjoy his body, explore it. 

'Men are their own worst enemy when it comes to being a little too focused on their penis itself and so it's easy for us to fall into that way of thinking, too,' Master Dominic explained.

'Men don't tend to take a lot of time exploring their own bodies during masturbation and so to have someone else really get into our whole pelvic region as a whole is always something special. Not only that, but the more you make sure every nerve ending is firing off signals to his penis, the less likely you are to hit that horrible moment when you've had enough but he's nowhere near orgasm yet.'

3. Think Outside The Box

There are other boy areas that we women sometimes overlook and, according to Master Dominic, we need to be a bit more switched on anatomically. Ladies, we need to talk about the perineum.

‘The perineum is the area between his balls and his butthole. It's a really nice little patch for a few reasons; it's got a load of nerve endings in a small space so having it touched/licked feels great,' Master Dominic explained.

‘The lump you can feel in it is actually his penis (a man's penis is actually boomerang shaped) so when you apply pressure, it causes some interesting sensations in the penis itself. Plus, it's a marvellous way of getting near his bum if he's one of those men who's a little cagey about that area. Touching it won't cause an earth shattering orgasm by itself, but it will go a long way to building up layers of good sensations, so definitely get involved with it!’

And don't be frightened of the bum. It might not be his 'thing', it might not be yours - but you can suggest some subtle action by simply placing your thumb near the anus during head. It's totally up to you.

4. Going Down

Right, here we are. It's all happening. What next? Tease, tease, tease - make sure you prep the penis before full-on mouth insertion. If you are using your tongue, work your way upwards but don’t go above the foreskin. A couple of minutes licking or kissing the shaft will prepare your man for the main event.

So how is the opening act (mouth-on) best handled Master Dominic?

‘Slowly! We LOVE the moment we actually manage to get ourselves inside an orifice and so you really want to make a big deal out of it. With enough resilience in your jaw to really give him a bit of a tight fit, with your lips covering your teeth, push down onto his member slowly letting him feel himself enter your mouth. Don't open your mouth wide around it like you're eating a banana, instead try to think about how it is when he enters you during penetrative sex. That moment, after you've spent a few minutes paying attention to his balls, perineum and so on, is a really satisfying pay-off for him to experience.’

Start moving your mouth up and down. At this stage use your hand to create a sense of depth (twist, and up), and let your man see the gap between your mouth and your hand: apparently it's a real turn on.

Interestingly, Master Dominic was quick to poo-poo the whole 'deep throat' idea (his words: 'don't bother'), and he also dispelled the myth that your tongue needs to be active throughout. Also, work with the muscle memory. Men like to masturbate, a lot. Think about how they would pleasure themselves and work this into your technique. Master Dominic added that we shouldn't be scared to use too much grip. Obviously, you aren't looking to pull the thing off, but more is better than less in this instance.

Keep going, and you'll be giving a great blow job.

5. The Aftermath

Okay, so spitting/swallowing? Acccording to Master Dominic, it's all down to your personal preference. He stated that the porn industry has made much about what is more pleasurable for a man, but in his opinion, it doesn't matter either way. You should never be made to feel like you have to swallow, so don't.

So. Now the orgasm has happened. What next? Master Dominic explained to me why the aftermath is an integral part of fellatio:

'The man has got a good minute or two after orgasm where the tip of his penis will be sensitive and should be left alone, but the shaft, balls, inner thighs etc, when gently touched, will still give him little waves of pleasure. Trust me, when we jerk off we don't then spend time lovingly caressing ourselves and so it's another way to establish the act as something special and significant. It's just really lovely to relax in the post-orgasm glow and still have affection and some shivers being given to you. Keep really gently touching him until he goes completely soft, rather than stopping everything as soon as he comes. He'll love it.'

So there you have it. How to give a blow job that'll blow your man's mind.

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Check out Coco de Mer's site for more info on their salons, and definitely, DEFINITELY, try and get a class with Master Dominic. The boy has got some serious skills.