Flatsharing for any sane person is always a bit of a stress. Move that flatsharing experience to London — where you are basically paying a small fortune to sleep in a glorified broom cupboard — and the stress increases ten fold, often with quite hilarious consequences.
Come on, you have to laugh right? Crying isn't an option when you've spent five months looking for a flatshare in Tooting with basic ammenities (hot water, a fridge, floors), that isn't a converted garage.
So, to pay homage to all you lovely people that know how tough it can be, here are some of the things you only know if you flatshare...
1. Doing laundry is like a military exercise
One washing machine. Four housemates. It’s basically war.
2. Leading on to... never ever dry laundry in the kitchen
Unless you want your freshly-washed pjs to stink of bacon butties/burnt toast/microwave chicken tikka masala.
3. Don’t buy posh cereal
It will get stolen.
4. Finding bits in the butter
Some things you just have to live with.
5. There’s always one housemate that has all the tuppaware
Which falls out of the cupboard every time to try to find a pan.
6. WhatsApp becomes the only way to ask for bill money
An actual conversation? Are you mad?
7. Pizza boxes are, like, the most annoying in the whole world to recycle
They just rip the green recycling bags. Cue you and the housemates heading out at 2am to lob them into next door’s skip.
8. Sleep is a luxury
Getting woken up at 4am on a Tuesday by your inebriated housemate singing Rihanna whilst trying to get her key in the door is fairly standard.
9. You will hear your housemates having sex
And be mentally scarred for life.
10. Don’t buy posh shampoo
For the reasons outlined in #3
Read more: 11 Things You Know If You Live With Boys
11. A cleaning products/milk/maintenance kitty is great in theory, but never works
It just gets raided on pre-payday week for a round of pints and pork scratchings in the local boozer.
12. Shared bathrooms are a lesson in mind-control and lightening speed reaction times
It’s every person for themselves when it comes to nabbing the shower first.
13. There will be a bag of carrier bags stashed somewhere
That no one uses. Ever.
14. Post will build up in the hall
So much so that it's sometimes hard to get the actual front door open.
15. Lightbulbs don't get replaced
They get switched around.
16. The loo roll issue
Someone's forgotten to buy it, and you're left managing with a pack of menthol tissues, fished out of your handbag.
17. There's one flatmate that always loses/forgets their keys
'What do you mean you can't meet me at junction 19 on the M25?'
18. It's amazing how creative one can be with a packet of fishfingers
Stick them in a pitta and it's pretty much a fish taco.
19. And, finally, the cleaning
A certain blind rage sets in after you've spent three hours picking cremated food out of the oven, only to have your housemate make six rounds of cheese on toast... without using the grill pan.