When we heard Colin had a girlfriend, we were like – kudos, we’re happy for him, he seems like one of those 'party animal' characters who end up burning themselves into the ground, so maybe a stable relationship might be just what he needs. And then we were introduced to ‘Connie’ and thought: FOR REALS?!
After Percy Pig’s pals, we thought Brit supermarkets were on side but Connie (because obvs gfs and bfs have to have alliterative names, like story books in the 50s) is basic AF.
She’s PINK — which is obviously a major fail. #1 - Girls don’t have to wear pink (unless they don’t want to risk being mistaken for a boy before the age of nine months). #2 - Don’t sacrifice the taste of normal chocolate just to make it cutesy strawberry flavoured and gender-specific.
She’s got a bow in her hair. We all like bows, sure, but not when you’re wearing pink trainers. Fem overkill (though we do like the nod to the AW16 trend).
And let’s not even get started on the matching bow, trainer, lip combo — Connie, please. And she’s gone for lashes and lipstick. Face palm.
She’s also topped with sugar hearts, but that’s legit because girls are always topped with sugar hearts.
In fact, in 2016 it would have been hella refreshing for Colin to get a boyfriend. In pink chocolate trainers. Conner maybe. Picture that — Conner the caterpillar.
In fact how about about they make a Conner – as a love rival. Or maybe they could be in a polyamorous relationship.
Let’s make #ConnerTheCaterpillar happen and show our 2016 youngsters that anything is a-ok.