Oh, the great British summer. That illusive creature. As rare as the rarest Pokémon, summers in the UK are renowned for being notoriously tricksy.
Often preceded by a weirdly warm April (that duplicitous mini-heat wave), our summers usually begin with a showery Glastonbury-foiling June (ugh, that mud), weather forecasters promising an ‘Indian Summer' (yeah, right), and everyone walking around with some hacked-off sense of entitlement (when am I going to wear all these fab summer dresses I purchased like, way back in March?)
Well ladies and gents. Look outside. Summer is well and truly here, and instead of rushing out into parks and frolicking in the sunshine, what are we all doing?
We're doing what we Brits do best – having a little bit of a moan. Or, making utterly ridiculous (and hilarious) statements about the warm weather.
Come on, you’re bound to have heard some already: on the tube, on the phone to your mum, in the lift. Everyone it seems, has an opinion once the sun comes out...
1. 'I like warm, but this is too warm...'
Said whilst exaggeratedly fanning oneself with a TimeOut.
2. 'You can see why the Spanish are fond of siestas...'
All the cultural references.
3. 'My phone is saying 20 degrees. It’s blatantly hotter than that...'
Furiously shoves phone in colleagues face to prove point.
4. Getting emails that begin ‘hope you are enjoying the good weather…'
...when you are sat at your desk. Yep, cheers for that.
5. 'It’s salad weather...'
*Chowing down on a pork burrito*
Read More: How To WERK It At Work This Summer For Under £70
6. 'I’m seriously dehydrated...'
Because you've been out on the lash since the good weather started = continual hangover.
7. 'I can’t sleep in this heat...'
Because of the above.
8. 'My make-up is melting off me...'
Just give up guys.
9. 'I can't stand anything against my skin...'
*Peels newspaper off thighs*
10. 'Have you SEEN the forecast?'
Yes. And you've also told me about it about it a trillion times.
11. 'I think I caught the sun over the weekend...'
Or in other words, you've burnt your shoulders.
12. 'It's hotter here than it is in Greece...'
And we're DELIGHTED with that information.
13. And finally (the great British classic) 'It's a bit hot...'
Usually accompanied by an eye-roll and a descriptive 'pfffffmmmmmhhhh' sound.
Enjoy the sun guys! And don't forget the sunscreen!