This is defintely not me...


Everyone worth their salt knows that cycling is big business right now. It is THE only way to travel if you live in a busy city. Fact.

How many times have you been sat on a packed bus watching those swift cyclists pass by without a care in the commuter world - oh how we envy them! Only, when it comes to actually owning a bike, I freely admit that I'm a far cry from being the next Bradley Wiggins. I purchased my own bike without taking your average commute into consideration (think massive Dutch bike, looks gorgeous but is basically the size of a small steam engine), and have made several quite magnificent blunders since embarking on my illustrious *ahem* cycling career. Let me just say, twee films (and the portrayal of females crusing along in whimsical fashions atop a vintage two-wheeler) have a LOT to answer for.

Here's 7 mistakes you're guaranteed to make if (like me) you are a bike newbie...

1. Midi skirts

Floaty mid-length skirt meet greasy bike chain. Ever ridden home with a chunk of material hanging from your spokes and your backside out for all and sundry to see? I have.

2. Helmets

Either way ladies, you are going to look like a bit of a div. Don't let vanity take over here. Wear the damn helmet.

3. Heels

Sure maybe Parisiens can manage it (along with looking fab ALL the time and eating pastries without putting on a pound of weight, oh the mysteries...) but I can't. I've tried. Attempting an emergency stop in a pair of skyscraper heels, in the rain? It's NEVER going to end well.

4. Flip flops

On the other end of the footwear spectrum, the humble flip flop can be a death trap for unwitting cyclists. Not only do they get randomly caught in pedals, but they provide absolutely no defence if you have to use the old feeters to make a skid stop. Cue broken shoes/broken feet.

5. Bags

Sure, that crossbody fringed beauty LOOKS amazing slung effortlessly over your summer cycling threads...

Fast forward to a busy cross-section when said bag keeps violently shunting into your front wheel. Oh and the fringe is now caught in your spokes. Fail.

6. White

If you wear anything white on the bottom, you are courting disaster people. Don't do it.

7. Baskets

Continued below...

Sure, they look SO stylish but more often than not, a bloody basket just invites every kind of *face palm* there is. Note to potential basket buyers: baguette doesn't fit, it just bends in half. Also, don't leave your bike+basket anywhere near a pub - people think it's the absolute LOLs to leave cans/empty glasses/cigarette butts in it. Oh, you jokers...