Ok, so armpit sniffing speed dating. The newest fad for those of us looking for love.
No really. I wish I was making this s*** up. I'm not. Read on curious single people...
So, the Bompas & Parr project studio in London specialise in immersive flavour-based experiences, and their Romancing The Armpit night — which encourages singletons to 'sniff out' a prospective partner based on the natural fragrance of a potential suitor's underarm crevice — is about to enter a second phase of booking, due to (according to Bompas & Parr's website) the first round of intimate sniffing being a 'massive sell-out' earlier in the month.
The night hopes to explore the power of pheromones (which are hidden in the complexities of our body sweat), and how those tricksy little MHC (Major Histocompatibility Complex) molecules found in our perspiration can essentially help us budding lotharios sort the the wheat from the *pit* chaff...
On arrival, guests will be treated to a specially designed cocktail (to help get the fluids going, yes really) and will then (after placing a paper bag over the old noggin) get on with the grand old business of some serious pit sniffing. The theory being that if your MHC molecules are drastically different to those of your pit partner, you'll be undeniably attracted to that particular person. Opposites, do indeed attract when it comes to body odour.
Now, as a single person, I have to admit that reading this has not only *unashamedly* sparked my interest (sure, the pheromones thing makes sense, why not?) but I'm also left wondering, is this REALLY what things have come to? I mean, speed dating is pretty effing horrendous as is — and not good at all for my slightly anxious millennial mind — but when you throw some casual pit sniffing into the dating fray?! I mean, hold the lights.
And don't get me wrong, some of the best dates I've ever been on have been on the weird side. As a girl (and potential partner) I believe that I'm on the slightly good side of odd, and have never been of the opinion that fancy pants restaurants and grand gestures constitute a romantic evening. Quite the opposite actually. If someone starts with all the flower/romance gubbins, my darkly cynical minds starts immediately scoping out the nearest exits, purely based on the fact that overt schmoozing makes me well, a little uncomfortable.
But armpit sniffing? I mean, if, IF you do happen upon the 'one' during one of these sessions, how on earth do you then introduce said person to your family? Your BFF?
'So how did you guys meet?'
'Well, funny you should ask that...'
And if this is the future, what happens next? Clipping someone's toenails and inspecting the cuttings? Eww, really?
I guess what it must come down to is the lengths us singletons are willing to go to in order to find a mate. Sure, we often put up with the ridiculousness of Tinder (oh, those tiger/wedding/dick pics), being sent Happn 'charms' when 'you know what, how about picking up the phone dude and starting a NORMAL conversation', but it seems that like life, in the wonderful word of dating we are always going to be chasing the next extreme.
Funnily enough, I am rather curious about the armpit sniffing. Sure why not? It can't be any more bonkers than meeting someone, and starting a virtual relationship via a mobile phone app right? At least this way, it's your senses being stimulated rather than your Instagram.
Would YOU go armpit speed dating?