Even The Man Repeller wears an anklet...

Even The Man Repeller wears an anklet...

I’m totally aware of how unacceptable anklets are — unless you're six years old, a gap year student or you’ve quit or completed the rat race and are fulfilling a lifelong dream of living on a deserted island ferrying food on boats from nearby towns.

I don’t fall into any of those categories unfortunately, but recently I’ve felt an odd shift —  I didn’t see it coming and I can’t really explain it but suddenly I’m not feeling physically repulsed by the prospect of embellishing my ankles.

I low-key festoon my ankles when I’m on holiday (necklaces, those hanging-up ribbons you get on and cut off new tops — just dreaming that I’m in that third category) but take them off knowing, like bikinis or a slathering of factor 50 down your parting, they’re totally not o-k in the office.

When I got back, in an attempt to keep up that holiday vibe and knowing crochet everything was more obviously unacceptable, I just kept the anklet on… First with socks over it like some kind of guilty secret (like those people who say they wear matching underwear because it makes them feel sassier, but completely the opposite) but now just like it’s NBD.

I reckon I’m on to something. The choker, which I hate, is in an odd limbo stage where some people are saying it’s over (Alexa) and some people are still wearing it like it’s a hot new thang (Taylor, the Victoria’s Secret squad).

So, I moot that we should all ditch neck ribbons and start wearing anklets and feel like we're on holiday twenny four seven. Here are the dos and don’ts…


Wear with slides.

Wear with backless loafers.

Wear with cropped jeans.

Wear with trousers (as it doesn’t matter, no-one can see it).

Go for a thin metal chain.

Wear on holiday.

Wear with crochet bikinis and throw-on casj dresses.

Wear for festivals.

Find one that comes off (just in case).

Try and spread the anklet word.

Just tie shit around your ankles.


Wear under tights.

Wear over tights.

Wear with tie-up sandals. (#Guilty)

Go for a leather one — especially not plaited. Disgusting.

Layer up.

Be embarrassed.

Take stick from your friends — you have to stand firm.

Get carried away and go festival circa 2012 with denim cut-offs and nearly-naked vest tops.

Wear with anymore of your ‘holiday clothes’.

Wear one with bells on to places you have to be quiet (particularly at work — it's 2016's bangle keyboard*).


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* Definition: That thing where people wear bangles or bracelets and they jangle on their computer keyboard when they type.