On being really really good looking
"I'm pretty sure there's a lot more to life than being really, really, ridiculously good looking. And I plan on finding out what that is."
"If there is anything that this horrible tragedy can teach us, it's that a male model's life is a precious, precious commodity. Just because we have chiseled abs and stunning features, it doesn't mean that we too can't not die in a freak gasoline fight accident."
Zoolander: "Well I guess it all started the first time I went through the second grade. I caught my reflection in a spoon while I was eating my cereal, and I remember thinking "wow, you're ridiculously good looking, maybe you could do that for a career."
Matilda: "Do what for a career?
Zoolander: "Be professionally good looking."
On public speaking
Zoolander: "Or are you here to tell me what a bad eugoogoolizer I am?"
Matilda: "A what?"
Zoolander: "A eugoogoolizer... one who speaks at funerals."
Zoolander: "What is this? A center for ants? How can we be expected to teach children to learn how to read... if they can't even fit inside the building?"
Mugatu: "Derek, this is just a small..."
Zoolander: "I don't wanna hear your excuses! The building has to be at least... three times bigger than this!"
On special skills
"I'm not an ambi-turner."
On being cool
"You think that you're too cool for school, but I have a newsflash for you Walter Cronkite... you aren't."
On making conversation
"Look, I gotta go pee, but I'd really like to continue talking about this conversation when I come back."
On thinking for himself
J.P. Prewitt: "Male models don’t think for themselves."
Zoolander: "Yes they do!"
J.P. Prewitt: "No they don’t."
"So join now, 'cause at the Derek Zoolander Center For Kids Who Can't Read Good And Wanna Learn To Do Other Stuff Good Too, we teach you that there's more to life than just being really, really, really good looking. Right kids?"
Watch Derek Zoolander hit the catwalk at Maison Valentino:
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