Oh men. We like you, we really do. You have a few not so great qualities (like when we send you a text message like this: ‘Baby I love you so much, I feel so happy to be with you and I'm so grateful I met you and want to spend the rest of my life with you xxxx’, and you’ll often reply like this: ‘Yep. Cool.’), but on the whole? The world would be a sadder place without you. So please, for the love of all that is decent, sort yourselves out when it comes to your Tinder profiles. Because some very scientific extensive research (ok, maybe that means I asked three people in the InStyle office because I'm not sure my boyfriend would buy the 'I was researching it for work!' excuse) has proved to us that you really are committing some very elementary dating errors when it comes to promoting yourself on everyone’s favourite dating app.
Yep, we mean your profile pictures – just really basic stuff like take those 90’s silver wraparound ‘Sports Science degree’ sunglasses off please. And lose the holiday photo – how can you judge what anyone really looks like with a tan? That’s cheating on a Lance Armstrong scale. But here are the big three, the rules you really can’t deviate from if you have any hope of getting a right swipe from us…
1. We can’t even believe we’re having to tell you this – but guess what? Probably best not to pose with your arms around a girl. Especially not one who is wearing a Playboy mansion style swimsuit with metallic details and cut out panels (yep, thisactually happened). We’re sure she’s really nice but we tend to think three’s a bit of a crowd on dates. So try to keep it Han Solo, thanks.
2. Lose any evidence that you’re a party boy – that means no holding a plastic pint glass in your hand, no ‘I’m sorta in the music business’ trilby worn at a jaunty angle, no glow stick necklaces and no hands in the air like you just don’t care at a music festival. Because you know what happens to playas? That’s right, everything they own in a box to the left.
3. Hold a dog. Yep, it’s that simple. Ideally a cute Pug or a French Boxer rather than a giant menacing looking, salivating Alsatian, but really we’ll take any sort of canine. Maybe lose the Chihuahua though – that’s just a bit too I-still-live-with-mummy.