Face it - sometimes you really just need some fresh young blood on the fashion scene. Don’t get us wrong, we love seeing the same familiar faces every year at LFW; the buyers in terrifying stilettos looking chic and businesslike, the street stylers giving it major blue steel every time someone with a camera walks by, the magazine editors pretending to be like totally unphased and whevs when Kimye roll up and sit RIGHT NEXT TO THEM (despite the fact that they’re texting this news to their entire contacts list).

But we here at InStyle decided it was time to embrace the next gen of fashion commentators. We wanted to put our report from LFW in the hands of super chic cool hunters at the cutting edge of style, so we aimed ridiculously high and went for two of the most crazy hot names in the fashion world right now  - Burtie and Bertie.

Amazingly, they said yes - once we had agreed to their list of increasingly demanding requirements. So here it is – LFW through the eyes of the most stylish duo in the world right now...


Burt is ‘5 and three quarters’. Bertie is four and a half but she often won’t answer the ‘how old are you?’ question – often she will simply respond with ‘no thank you’.

They’re both passionate fans of Burberry – although Burtie likes to mash things up with Fendi. Bertie is notorious for her handbag obsession – she adores Dior. 

You’ll have to speak to their reps. One tip -  a packet of Fruitellas are the way to the hearts of these tough negotiators... 

Let’s just say Mariah learnt every trick she knows from this notorious pair. We can exclusively reveal that they’re not averse to the odd high maintenance moment. We witnessed Bertie sighing, ‘off now please’ about her Kickers whilst Burtie’s baby soft leather jacket ‘hurt’, apparently. They could only be placated with promises of an imminent trip to the newsagent for ice creams.

Apple juice – in shocking scenes, the fast living duo guzzled back entire cartons of Capella apple juice.
Calippo ice lollies, bubble gum flavour. They can’t get enough of them.
There are three of us in this relationship; if you want Bertie, you’ll also need to expect her wild partying pal, a teddy bear named ‘Scrubber’.