Sunbathing in suits. Not advisable.
According to experts, we’re in for a three month heatwave in the UK. Yay! And while we women up and down the country may be jumping for joy at the prospect of being able to wear all those summer dresses that have been lurking at the back of the wardrobe for the best part of a year, it’s not such good news for 50% of the population. Here (with some massive generalisations which we’re sure you’ll forgive us for) are 10 reasons why it’s better to be a woman in a heatwave.
1. Men don’t wear dresses
OK, some men wear dresses, but for the most part, they don’t. Which means men will never know the joy that is only having to worry about one item of clothing and your shoes before leaving the house. And it’s the item of clothing that just so happens to be the BEST thing to wear in a heatwave (no waistband, breeze up your skirt etc).
2. Some men have beards
We’re big fans of the beard here at InStyle HQ, but MAN all that facial hair’s got to be hot in 35 degree temperatures.
3. Men don’t know how to do summer shoes
Most men have three default looks: office, weekend and holiday. Which means when it’s hot and they have to go to work, they have no idea what to wear on their feet. So they just resort to wearing exactly what they would wear if we weren’t having a heatwave. Never be near a man who works in an office when he takes his shoes and socks off at the end of the day…
4. Men have balls
That means men get sweaty balls. We’re thankful we don’t have to deal with that one.
5. Men are bad at doing shorts for the office
Even when their dress code allows, men get confused when it’s hot enough to wear shorts to work. Sometimes they wear them with their normal work shoes AND SOCKS. No, men, this is not a good look. Others pop on a pair of flip flops; we do not approve of flip flops in the city, guys. The few that know what they’re doing pair some navy shorts with a pair of Superga and subtly concealed trainer socks. Good boys.
6. Some men have to wear ties to work
Imagine not only having to do your shirt buttons all the way up to the top, but then having to tightly tie something around your neck all day. The WORST.
7. Men sweat more
Flimsy cotton shirt + rucksack = sweat patches on your back. Not a good start to the day. Cross-body sweat patches are marginally better. Smart men carry a hand-held briefcase in a heatwave.
8. Men can’t wear sleeveless tops to work
While we happily swan around in loose camisoles and sleeveless sundresses, we’d probably be a bit shocked if a male colleague rocked up to the office wearing a muscle vest. Though we’d totally respect them if they did.
9. Men wear bigger pants
Be grateful you can wear virtually no underwear rather than having to wear either a pair of massive pants or worse, shorts, under all your clothes (this obviously adds to the problem of sweaty balls).
10. Men don’t look after their feet
Here’s hoping the temperature drops a bit by the weekend so we won’t have to be subjected to dozens of narly toenails in the pub garden on Sunday. Do us all a favour lads: pay your feet a bit more attention.