32 Things You Need To Know Before Dating A Girl From Birmingham

32 Things You Need To Know Before Dating A Girl From Birmingham

Your definitive guide to all things Brummie, from someone who knows

1. We have eternal love for the Fish Man, the poor man in a full-on fish costume who tried to flog those fish pedicures come rain or shine.

2. You know you’ve seen the White Suit Man, with matching trilby and enough chains to kit out a rap video.

3. Pigeon Park was the ONLY place to be when we were 15 and going through that emo stage. Then it was on to Teenculture.

4. Everyone thought they were cool because they went to Rainbow once. Don’t get it twisted, we know you preferred Risa.

5. We either met by The Bull or The Ramp and NOWHERE else.

6. Speaking of, the thing we’re most excited for at Christmas is seeing what the bull is wearing. He’s an elf this year, FYI.

7. Yes, we really call our mothers Mom, and no, it’s not because we’re trying to be American.

8. It’s also kinda normal to say ‘tooth’ to rhyme with ‘brush’, and we only realised this was weird when we left the city…

9. Snobs on a Wednesday (RIP), Propaganda on a Friday. Simple.

10. We can detect a hint of a Birmingham accent ANYWHERE.

11. The German Market at Christmas is all about two things; the giant pretzels, and fruit on a stick.

12. A hairband is a bobble, and a forward roll is a gambol.

13. Did we mention we’ve got more canals than Venice?! EVERY TIME!

14. You know we’re true Brummies if we know who the Floozy In The Jacuzzi is (where did those flowers come from!?).

15. You’re not a Brummie if; you come from Coventry, Wolverhampton, The Black Country…

16. Top 3 school visit spots; The Black Country Museum, The Sea Life Centre and Cadbury World.

17. Remember when you used to get a bag full of free chocolate?! Thanks for nothing, Kraft…

18. No, we’ve never been to Benefits Street (although we do live pretty near it).

19. Grand Central is blowing our minds right now – how can you come in behind Victoria Square but come out by TK Maxx?

20. We never know the difference between Victoria and Chamberlain Square anyway.

21. When we say town, we mean the city centre.

22. We’re the second city you know (sorry, Manchester).

23. We think we’re so sneaky smuggling Tesco snacks into the AMC cinema (we’ll never get used to it being Odeon).

24. We’ll wash our cob down with a bottle of pop, ta bab. Any Tip Tops left?

25. The Proverbial (Varsity?) on Harborne High Street has had more reincarnations than we can remember.

26. We’re not Northern or Southern. We’re basically a walking identity crisis.

27. Which is the Pavilions, and which is the Palisades?!

28. We jam to the steel pan men outside HSBC every time. Not so much the man with the rasta cat.

29. The top 3 buses in order – 9, 11, 22. Debate amongst yourselves.

30. Big Love to the top floor piercers at the Oasis Market.

31. Snowing? Every school child in the city was tuning in to BRMB in the morning…

32. And finally? Nobody ACTUALLY says Birmingham like that!


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