The sun is shining. You've just skipped out of work (see yuz laters *flamboyant wave*), everything is great.
Why, why then is our first instinct to reach for the bottle of Sauv Blanc?
And we know. We know that this ice-cold nectar of the pub gods only serves to get us on the outlandish side of squiffy, yet like some kind of booze safety blanket, we ditch the sensible vod/tons for a trusty goblet of whatever's cheap and white. We can't help ourselves. And come Saturday, we are in a whole world of regret.
Here are the 7 #WhiteWineProblems EVERY girl faces post-work on a Friday...
1. The build up
Okay, let's not get ahead of ourselves. We'll start the evening with a couple spritzers and a bowl of olives. Classy.
Fast forward three hours. You've polished off two bottles of Chablis with Moira from accounts, and told her ALL your Tinder woes.
2. The false evening
You've hit the pub straight from work. After one two many large glasses of vino blanc you make the sensible decision to leave... only it's 9:13. And still light out.
Kids are playing in the park. You are smashed. It's positively wretched.
3. The not eating
Why. Why do we never learn. That midday Pret sandwich was never going to prepare your tummy for the #FridayFeeling wine onslaught. Hello hangover from hell.
4. The thrifty option
Well, if we buy a bottle it lasts longer.
5. The wine glasses that lie
You know the ones. The grail-like chalices that hold like, half a bottle of wine. You happily fill your glass. The quaffing commences. You've now drunk a third of a bottle in approximately eight minutes. Voops.
6. The soakage
Of COURSE a dirty burger will sort you out.
7. And finally, the aftermath
If you've been really smart, you will have already deleted all those nonsensical WhatsApps you decided to send to your ex post-pub... But when you have to chart your trip home based on your internet banking and/or Uber receipts? There's a very real possibilty you've been badly behaved. Time to make a duvet nest and hide until Monday...