Scott looking very American Psycho chic

What me? Player?

5 signs you’re dating a player – what we’ve learnt from Scott Disick

Oh Scott Disick. We didn’t think characters like you actually existed outside of 80’s American movies – but here you ACTUALLY are, with your Ivy league slicked back hair, villainous candy pink Wolf of Wall Street striped shirt and roaring ‘ outta my way losers’ sports car. You’re the guy every cute lovable rom com hero has to defeat in order to win the heroine’s heart – and we all cheer when you get your comeuppance (usually involving a bunch of high school kids laughing when you inevitably end up covered in manure in a lake). But what you really are Scott ? Is a player. We knew it. Our mum’s knew it. Even Kim Jong Un probably knew it. And now finally, Kourtney knows it.  Even she couldn’t ignore those pics of you hanging out with your ex on holiday and next, inviting a bevy of girls – all wearing pretty much nowt – into your new bachelor pad. 

You see, there sometimes comes a time in every woman's life when she has to take an inventory of an unreliable man and say ‘ nah, you know that? I’m way too hot for this’. So Kourt ( I think we’re on Kourt stages by now aren’t we?) to spare you all that pain and drama again , here they are the 5 signs that you are definitely dating a player..

1. He has monogrammed velvet slippers. Keep telling yourself it’s a cute old fogey thing. Or a fashion thing. Or even a comfort thing. But actually? It’s kind of a Hugh Hefner thing.  

2. Two phones. If a man has two mobiles - one of which he guards more obsessively than Gollum and that goddman ring – here’s some breaking news just in. It’s not his dentist sending him DM’s at 2am. 

3. He’s got a lot of Facebook friends called Misty and Bambi and Crystal – who a) all seem to have blonde extensions and b) regularly post things like ‘ hey text me back baby!’ They are not, despite what he tells you ‘work colleagues’. Men in IT do not as a rule, work with women wearing Perspex heels called Candy-Lola. 

4. He made you call him first. Oh we know, it’s 2015, a women can phone a man now, everyone’s equal and lets all seize the day. Let me know how that works out for you when dealing with a player. These boys love to take advantage of feminism. ‘You call ME baby - I’m SHY’. Said the man who was bold enough to just hand you his number. And got you to do all the heavy lifting.

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5. ‘Sure, let’s hang out Tuesday..or maybe Sunday?’ If you’ve heard these words recently, it’s time you got a bite of the reality sandwich – you’re getting the graveyard slots girlfriend. And we say, you are good enough to take out on a Saturday night – so dump his sorry player arse pronto.