Half the time we want to move to the country and settle down with dogs and a vegetable garden, and the other half of the time we want to act like we’re young and crayzay. When we’re feeling like the latter, Paris Hilton is our hashtag EVERYTHING GOALS. We don't know how she does it — she's been out out for the best part of fifteen years. Two days in a row and we've got a head cold.

She's a goddess — not inspirational in the traditional sense of the word — but the funnest version of one's self. One's self at Glastonbury, before the crushing week-long hangover, if you will.

As well as her many CV credentials — superstar deejay, perfumer, Insta-queen – she's also THE best reality TV star the world has ever seen. We can't talk about Paris without talking about The Simple Life — back in 2003 when our love for her began. Back when pink Juicy Couture velour and high shine lips were the height of fash. It's still a firm favourite — who can tire of Paris and Nicole attempting a job and failing, and instead just pissing off or hooking up with the rest of the American town? Not us.

In fact, Paris is still making it work. While everyone else is slowly bowing out of the glossy perma-tan look, ditching their youth for stuff that's almost certainly more boring, it's still happening for Ms Hilton (she's even walking Milan runways dontcha know) and that's why she's our ultimate spirit animal.

Here are the life lessons she taught us…

1. How to deal with someone who keeps speaking over you in a conversation...


2. What to do when someone mentions Trump at a dinner party...


3. How to pump yourself up before your first beach day on holiday if you're feeling a bit meh...


4. What to do if someone asks you to do a presentation last minute they really should have done themselves...


5. How to act if someone mocks an acronym you use ironically...


6. Just how you should aim to look when you drive (minus phone — that's illegal)...


7. What to do if your wingman hooks up with someone leaving you riding solo...


8. What to do if your friend is flagging or just not feeling 100%...


9. How to edit your Instagram photos with the hashtag #nofilter...


10. When she was our inspo for dealing with work self-assessments...


11. If you put a Remain poster in someone's window...


12. What to do if people clap when a plane lands... (But obviously never clap, just the face.)

 

13. How to boss a meeting if you've been getting manic panic attacks before it...


14. How to act when your landlord is talking about taking money out of your deposit for a mark on the wall that was definitely there when you moved in...


15. What to say when your housemate gets mega angsty for you not taking the bins out even though they never ever do...


16. What you should aim for in your Tinder profile pic (apparently).

 

17. What you should aim for for in every single Face Swap...


18. How to act when you get pulled over...


19. Eyeliner goals...


20. What to do when your card gets declined...


21. Try and enter every pub/bar/club with your squad like...


22. How to deal with monotonous house tasks...


23. What to do if you get trolled on social media...


24. The sass you should exude in everyday life...

And let's just take a moment to appreciate her choice of dogs...

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