As much as we'd like to be Jennifer Lawrence, we think we'd like to be her best friend more. Getting to hang out with Hollywood's coolest actress, without having to deal with the paparazzi yourself? That's the way we'd want it.
While it's unlikely we're going to get to meet J Law anytime soon, her best friend has let us in on what it's like to be her in a very funny new blog post she wrote about being Jennifer's date to the Oscars.
We love that J Law chose her best gal pal as her date to the biggest event in the movie industry – and we can see why she did, because Laura Simspon is hilarious.
The model wrote a tell-all blog about her time at the Oscars, which detailed her total meltdown 'like a 13-year-old', before the big day, to how Bill Murray winked at her on the dancefloor while dancing to Rod Stewart. Amazing.
Explaining how the two became friends, Laura wrote: 'I met her seven years ago at an event where we both didn’t know a single person. We hit it off over a mutual respect for Chandler Bing, and we've been eating pizza together ever since.'
Laura then describes, as we expected, how if you are not famous, then you are pretty much totally ignored at the Oscars. Describing the moment Jennifer used her neck to break her fall on the red carpet, Laura writes: 'My date uses my freshly done Lauren Conrad up do to break her fall. The crowd goes wild. There are flashbulbs and people circling yet no one asks if I need any help because unless you are famous at the Oscars, you are completely invisible. I have never experienced anything like it. The only time anyone talks to you is if you are in the way of his or her photo. Oh and photographers on the carpet yell "YOU IN THE HUGE DRESS, GET OUT OF THE F****** SHOT"'. Charming.
And it sounds like Jennifer's dad is a riot, too. To escape the boredom of the ceremony Laura and J-Law's dad 'decide to hit the bar and just watch from the monitor behind the bar and slam a few drinks to make this tolerable.'
The Vanity Fair party doesn't sound like much fun either. 'Photographers yell at you and no one gives a shit that you are a human being unless you're famous. We can't enjoy ourselves because everyone, whether they know my date or not, has some weird story they just NEED to tell her as they stand in front of me pushing me out of the circle.'
Laura describes the whole experience as being 'completely exhausting, overwhelming and surreal', but that 'all the women were really lovely – even Anne Hathaway.'
The 28-year-old ends her post with her own awards, which sees Jared Leto's Hair win Most Beautiful and Brad Pitt bag Best Smelling. Yep, we think we want to be Laura's mate as much as we do Jennifer's.
By Olivia Marks
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