Never Mind Basic B*tch, Here's How To Tell If You're A Basic Bloke

Never Mind Basic B*tch, Here's How To Tell If You're A Basic Bloke

Never mind the ladies, what about the guys?

Keep Calm And Carry On mugs, nude court shoes, Starbucks pumpkin lattes - there's a little bit of basic bitch in all of us.

And as we pointed out earlier this year, there's absolutely nothing wrong with that. 

But with all this talk of basic bitches, we feel the guys have been very unfairly let off the hook here. Surely for every basic bitch there's an equally basic bloke? 

If you're a guy reading this and wondering exactly how much of a basic bloke you are, here are the 60 tell-tale signs... 

1) You own a North Face gilet 

2) Your profile picture is a Grand Canyon selfie 

3) You wear jeans with a black leather belt and silver buckle 

4) You've just started to grow a beard 

5) When you were a Best Man you opened with 'so I googled best man speeches...' 

6) On Valentine's Day you buy your girlfriend red roses with baby's breath 

7) You're just getting into Breaking Bad 

8) You describe yourself as 'a consultant' (non-medical) 

9) You own a teeshirt that says Harvard 1975

10) You love Elbow 

11) The Hangover is your favourite movie

12) You talk in a little too much detail about the midweek Groupon dinner deal you got the other day 

13) You own both a road bike and a mountain bike and you're not yet 30 

14) You enjoy a 'cheeky Nandos' 

15) Before going for Nandos you say 'it'd be rude not to' 

16) You pretend to like football but you secretly prefer rugby - 'come on you reds' 

17) And if you do vaguely support Man U you've never been to an away game 

18) You live in Clapham 

19) You're fond of saying 'I don't even know who the Kardashians are' 

20) You post a picture of your gastropub lunch on Facebook with the caption 'bloody good nosh' 

21) You own three sweatshirts from Gant 

22) When it's not quite shorts weather you wear flip flops and jeans 

23) You have a 'mean steak marinade recipe' 

24) Your Tinder profile picture is you posing with a tiger in Thailand 2007

25) You've got a floral party shirt 

26) After a gym session you say 'nothing clears the head like it, well almost nothing ;)' 

27) You say 'I definitely would' about Susanna Reid 

28) You go to Lovebox in fake orange raybans and a straw trilby 

29) You've booked a Hawksmoor steak dinner for your anniversary 

30) You love a woman in a red wrap dress 

31) You say 'I'll have to ask my missus' 

32) You take a cricket autobiography on holiday

33) You're doing the 5.2

34) You love a German Christmas Market

35) You've booked a date night to Winter Wonderland 

36) You buy your girlfriend a bottle of DKNY Apple perfume on the plane home from a lads holiday 

37) You say 'diet starts tomorrow' before tucking into a tub of Ben & Jerry's Phish Food in front of The X Factor 

38) On a stag do you make the stag wear a pink morph suit 

39) You own The Inbetweeners box set 

40) You spent your gap year in Australia 

41) You've just splashed out on a John Lewis cocktail shaker

42) Your signature karaoke song is Mustang Sally

43) You listen to the Chris Evans breakfast show 

44) You watch Top Gear 

45) You always check in at the BA Business Class Lounge when you're upgraded on a work trip 

46) Your fantasy dinner party list includes James Corden, Richard Hammond, Ricky Gervais and Freddie Flintoff 

47) You call Holly Willoughby 'Holly Willo-booby' 

48) You own three Ralph Lauren Polo shirts 

49) You do table selfies on holiday with your girlfriend in Kos 

50) You've series linked The Big Bang Theory and How I Met Your Mother 'PMSL' 

51) You do ultimate frisbee on the Common in the summer 

52) You're training for Tough Mudder 

53) You share opinion pieces on Facebook with the caption 'hear hear' 

54) You've quit smoking so you're now a 'social vaper' 

55) You've just joined Twitter and your first tweet is 'still trying to work out this Twitter thing' 

56) If you have a one-night stand you always order the lady an Addison Lee the morning after 

57) When your friends ask you how it went you say 'a gentleman never tells' 

58) Calling Shoreditch 'trendy'

59) Your girlfriend's Mum thinks you're 'great husband material' 

60) You'll make (or are) a very good Dad

*The basic bloke is also an extremely nice guy 

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