Karl Lagerfeld turns 81

When you think of Karl Lagerfeld, what springs to mind? The white hair, the black glasses and gloves, Choupette, Chanel, Fendi… The man is a self-confessed caricature of himself. 

Not only that, he's also the master of the backhanded compliment (or well disguised cattiness, whichever way you want to look at it). 

The latest target of his affections is Kim Kardashian, after agreeing to be in her cartoon game. 

Karl said of the social media mogul: 'Kim’s contribution to beauty and fashion - and what made her such an icon - is the fact that you don’t have to be super slim and very tall to be beautiful. Others tried, but she succeeded in giving other girls like herself confidence. And I admire her for that.'

He went on to speak of the Kardashian klan: 'I like her mother a lot and I adore her little half-sister Kendall. I don’t know the rest of this astonishing family.'

Make of it what you will!

Over his years in fashion, he's spoken out about most things and his Karlisms never fail to make us smile so we've whittled down 18 of his most outrageous, iconic and down-right hilarious quotes of all time...

On being grounded:
'I'm very much down to earth, just not this earth.'

On how you should dress for bed:
'I think everyone should go to bed like they've got a date at the door.'

On his predecessor:
'What I've done, Coco Chanel would never have done. She would have hated it.'

On raising a brood:
'Having adult children makes you look 100 years old. I don't want that.'

On his work-ethic: 
'Work is making a living out of being bored.'

On his personal style:
'I'm like a caricature of myself, and I like that. It is like a mask. And for me the Carnival of Venice lasts all year long.'

On fashion:
'I am a kind of fashion nymphomaniac who never gets an orgasm.'

On his biggest fear:
'Nothing scares me more than people with some doll collection.'

On intellectual chat:
'I hate intellectual conversation with intellectuals because I only care about my opinion.'

On women:
'I remember a designer who said that intelligent women don't wear her dresses. Obviously, she went bankrupt.'

On sweatpants (don't read this if you're wearing a pair...):
'Sweatpants are a sign of defeat. You lost control of your life so you bought some sweatpants.'

On how you should dress:
'Don't dress to kill, dress to survive.'

On tattoos:
'I think tattoos are horrible. It's like living in a Pucci dress full-time. If you're young and tight, maybe it's OK, but...'

On his legend-status:
'A sense of humour and a little lack of respect: that's what you need to make a legend survive.'

On staying hydrated:
'I drink Diet Coke from the minute I get up to the minute I go to bed.'

On Pippa Middleton (ouch):
'Kate Middleton has a nice silhouette and she is the right girl for that boy. I like that kind of woman, I like romantic beauties. On the other hand, her sister struggles. I don't like the sister's face. She should only show her back.'

On interior decor:
'The most important piece in the house is the garbage can.'

On his quotes:
'Everything I say is a joke. I am a joke myself.'

What a man.