If you're anything like me, any talk of the Sims or that constant background music makes you nostalgic AF for your tweenie years. Oh, the hours we spent on the desktop computer while some bastard was using the dial up internet connection to speak on the phone.

Here are the life lessons we learnt from The Sims that 100% aren’t true:

1. A carpool will pick you up to take you to even the most junior of jobs.

2. Handily your bills go red before the bailiffs comes round to take your stuff.

3. People from around the neighbourhood will come round to your house when you move in.

4. If you don’t have steps or a diving board, you can’t get out of a swimming pool.

5. You can just move graves around like it is NBD.

6. You have to have sex in a vibrating heart bed to conceive.

7. A plate on the floor can block you into a room.

8. You can only walk in right angles.

9. Being abducted my aliens is a genuine ish.

10. You can give people the craziest names and they never get jip for them.

11. Everyone gets up immediately when their alarm goes off.

12. You can restock your fridge from home — even if you don’t have internet.

13. Make a friend one day and they'll be knocking at your door the next. (Thank god that's not true.)

14. If you apply for a job, from the computer or a newspaper, it’s yours.

15. Your fire alarm only goes off when there’s an actual fire.

16. Burglars dress like actual burglars so you get a big old heads up when they come to steal your wide screen TV.

17. People are always in when you ring them on their home phones (which you have to because mobiles aren’t a thing).

18. If you do something enough — chess, painting, cooking — you will be top of your game.

19. When a baby is born it just sort of arrives — zero pushing or pain.

20. If you don’t move your newspapers, they’ll continue to be delivered (for free) until they literally fill up your garden.

21. Chatting not facing each other was totally socially a-ok.

22. Forget bidding wars, you can just buy a house straight up.

23. Alternatively, you can just buy the land for a totally hassle-free self build.

24. You can't just pull up a chair or get someone to scootch over, there has got to be an offish space for every single person.

25. You just carry one plate of food and can miraculously get loads of plates out of it.

Continued below...

26. You can put a 12 simoleon pink flamingo in your garden and no-one asks you WTF you're doing.

Damn you Sims for these unfulfillable life promises. Don't even get me started on the Makin' Magic Expansion Pack...