Bodycon? Oh no Kim K, that's a golden rule NOT to be broken...
Music festival season is FINALLY upon us, and if you're anything like us festi-obsessed people, then you've probs already got your festival packing list sorted.
Sure, we know flower crowns are offish 'out' but come on, once those tickets arrive you are on point to start ticking off that festival checklist.
Glitter? Check. Unitard? Check. Neon warpaint? Check. And of course, once THOSE prime Insta-worthy essentials are bagged, that's when the wipes come in... face wipes, wet wipes, all manner of wipes - and breakfast biscuits. Any gal who's worth her festival salt can survive on these basics, and these alone.
However, sometimes when you get to said field in Hampshire/Somerset/Lord-knows where, suddenly all those fancy adornments don't seem too practical. Rain? Mud? Cruddy portaloos?!
Uh, I'm sure THIS never happens at bloody Coachella.
So people, to save you the potential fashion clangers, here's some things you shouldn't attempt at a festival. Don't say we didn't warn you...
Yes, Kendall rocked that fringed wotsit at whatever sun-drenched festi-party she was at and sure, it looks pretty fly. Not so much when your own bit of boho fringing is sodden with whatever the dark portaloo has thrown at you. Not nice.
2. Bra tops
Ever tried moshing in a field with 200,000 people in a bikini? Yep, the girls are guaranteed to make their Pyramid stage debut.
ALWAYS a fab idea, especially if you've got 'rave-all-night' designs on the dance tent. Fast forward to 4am when the glitter has found itself into your eyes, ears, and (curiously) your knickers.
Sure they are uber amaze, but while anything spandex promises to be the closest thing to Jessie Spano chic, ACTUALLY wearing one when you are trying to pee/whilst holding the door/hovering/freeing tissue from your bag is probably one of the most humiliating things one can actually attempt in a 4x4 sh** cubicle. Then trying to get it back on again? Horrendous. Just, horrendous.
5. Denim shorts
Oh, the Mossy-coined festival essential. Sitting down though? No-one really wants to remove a ketchup-soiled napkin from their bare arse cheek, do they?
6. Bum bags
Festival fanny packs always seem like a stellar idea. But loading them up with the entire contents of your tent ('just in case') is only going make your tum hurt, especially if you've just wolfed down a dirty cheeseburger. Blurgh.
No, just no.
8. False eyelashes
Ever tried putting on strip lashes in a tent? Uh oh, you've glued your eyelids together. Zero lols.
Head gear of any kind is only going to get bothersome and hot, but trying to rock a wig Ky-Jen style in a filthy field just isn't cricket. Don't do it to yourselves!
WATCH: Beauty Writer George Driver Talks ALL Things Festival Hair...