Are you a Mary Poppins or a Mr Hyde?
What are you like during a night on the sauce?
Are you an awful slurring mess or a total hoot? A one-eye-shut-'I love you man' type or the worst white wine witch All Bar One has ever seen?
According to a new study by the University of Missouri, all of us fall into one of four personality types when we've been drinking.
The four drunk alter egos came about after a personality test was conducted on 374 men and women, once when they were stone cold sober and once when they had been given alcohol to drink. The results of the test unearthed four key drunk personality types: The Mary Poppins, The Hemingway, The Nutty Professor and The Mr Hyde.
Wondering which one you are? Here's a breakdown...
The Nutty Professor
This is that woman in your office who wouldn't normally say boo to a goose who gets up on the table at the Christmas party to make the crowd clap her into speed strawpedo-ing a bottle of house Pinot while they all shout "Lin-DA! Lin-DA! Lin-DA!"
Mostly likely to say: "Jagerbombs for me and my new friend Mark here" while slapping the bar and doing a backwards moonwalk.
Least likely to say: "I need to nip off for the last train"
The Mary Poppins
This is the drunk person everyone secretly hopes they are. The person who only gets nicer and sweeter then drunker they get. This person is only more conscientious and thoughtful after they've mainlined half a bottle of prosecco. Does this sound like you? Nope, us neither.
Most likely to say: "Oh no don't worry about me, I can get a cab home fine! Can I buy get you all another round before I go?"
Least likely to say: "I don't wantanUber you don't care I hatesh youand Steve" (you have no idea who Steve is)
“Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut”, said writer and notorious boozehound Ernest Hemingway. This category is named after him because he could drink a brewery dry without feeling a drop of it. If you're a Hemingway you can throw tequilas back with gay abandon but still be able to walk in a straight line home. Never try and drink a Hemingway under the table.
Most likely to say: "Another one?"
Least likely to say: "Just a lime and soda for me, Ed, I've got a 10K on Sunday."
This is the drunk person everyone hopes they're not. The person who wakes up to find their boyfriend or girlfriend is no longer speaking to them after they threw a styrofoam of cheesy chips at the taxi driver and managed to offend every single person who came out - even The Mary Poppins of the group. "Individuals in this group not only embody less savoury personality characteristics when drunk" says the study, "but also incur acute harm from their drinking, for example experiencing a memory blackout or being arrested because of drunken behaviour" - in other words if you're a Mr Hyde you're also total a***hole when drunk and should consider giving it up for good.
Most likely to say: "Laura doesn't like you, no-one really does. I have to be truthful about this"
Least likely to say: "I love you man"