Delete, delete, delete, delete... Britney has no problem erasing her relationship history from her social media
Social media etiquette after a break up is a minefield. You spent two wonderful years together, and that Instagram of the Tesco bouquet they bought you for your birthday was so meaningful at the time. But now you’re angry and upset, and exes should stay in the past. Are you ready to delete every trace of your relationship history, or start posting elusive images that show just how well you’re coping?
Mission: erase every trace of the ex from all of your social media accounts. Anniversary Instagrams? Gone. Soppy Twitter exchanges? Vanished. Facebook friends? Deleted AND blocked. Unfollowed on Twitter, too. You are angry and you don’t need this loser in your life. Or you’re upset, and think removing every memory of ever being together will help you get over your ex quicker. Either way, there’s no going back from here. It’s time to make room for someone new.
The Facebook Wiper
You're not ready to let go completely, but you need that ex out of sight and out of mind. You're so into Facebook's new wipe function, which eliminates notifications, status updates, tagged pictures and life events to do with your ex from your feed, without deleting them for good. After all, you never know what might happen in the future...
The Quote Poster
Break-ups are tough, so who better to turn to than Marilyn Monroe, Audrey Hepburn and even Drake? They have some seriously wise words to get you through this tough time, and surely everyone will relate a quote pic on Insta – black and white images only. Guaranteed likes and lots of ‘u ok hun?’ and ‘they don’t deserve you’ comments to make you feel better. We’ll leave you with this gem: “If he’s dumb enough to walk away, be smart enough to let him go”. Cue the break-up playlist...
We're renaming this type 'The Kanye' in light of recent Twitter drama... You've constantly got one eye on their social media in case they're 100% definitely absolutely no question talking about you in that thinly-veiled post... or slating your new partner using their initials. It's not long before the whole spider web of exes gets involved...
The Good Time Girl
Want to show your ex you’re over them? You need to go out and have a REALLY great time (or at least look like it). Wild nights out, expensive cocktails, exhausted selfies from being sooooo busy, your Instagram profile will show them just how fine you are - there’s no heartbreak moping here. Why not throw in a few pictures cosying up to some sexy new people for good measure? They were just the bartender, but your ex doesn’t need to know that.
The Secret Stalker
No way are you deleting your ex on Facebook – how else are you going to stalk their new life without you and check up on their tagged pictures? You absolutely need to know if they’ve suddenly become friends with five new girls (NO mutual friends, I mean come on…), and you still need to know what they’re up to, you know, just in case. Never say never…
The Best Friends
Break up? What break up? Just because you’re not together, doesn’t mean you can’t still hang out as friends. After all, you liked them for their personality (we hope). Cue confused friends private messaging you and asking if that summer selfie means you’re back together. You’re not bothered though, you don’t like to put a label on things. In fact you’d LOVE to meet their new girlfriend! That way you can fill her in on all the cute things you used to do as a couple, and any annoying bad habits. Ah, isn’t that sweet?
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