Does it really matter?
You know what, in my opinion, Kate Moss has it sorted.
In case you haven’t heard, everyone is giving Mossy face these days for dating a chap by the name of Nikolai von Bismarck – who happens to be (SHOCK HORROR), over ten years younger than her.
And, did you hear the news about Lara Stone? No? Rumour has it she’s been dating a 19-year-old Australian model. And she’s 32. 32! Mothers, lock UP your sons cause those big, bad A-listers are in town.
Honestly. Is this shocked cat reaction actually for real? In an age where we think nothing of Bradley Cooper’s relationship with Suki Waterhouse (big age difference, with the hefty whack of 20 some odd years stacking up on Bradders’ side), and members of the Rolling Stones perpetually procreating with younger women, how is it that this almost miniscule (by comparison) age gap between an older gal and a younger guy always becomes such a soapbox talking point?
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Speaking as a serial dater — I say this not as a ‘woe is me’ boohoo single person, but as a true voice of wisdom in a world full of bonkers dating behaviour — I have in my time embarked on trysts with younger men. It’s not that I go out intending on bagging myself a toyboy (ack, that word), it’s just that sometimes I’m in a situation, be it a club or bar, which is populated by a more youthful male demographic. I go to a lot of gigs. I enjoy live music and festivals. Just because I’m a woman in my mid-thirties, doesn’t necessarily mean that I’ve been relegated to frequenting local boozers or (even worse) gyms with the intention of ensnaring a suitor that fits my age bracket.
Which brings me on to Alex* (not his real name, although I’m pretty sure he won’t be reading this as he’s currently DJing in Ibiza, or something equally as cliché), whom I met on a night out last year. He was tall (London Tinder daters know this is a bonus), very handsome, funny, confident… and 23.
I’m 35. The headline writes itself.
I’ll admit, when Alex told me his real age (he lied at first, adding on a couple years so as not to completely spook me), I was shocked. Not shocked because I felt horrified at the fact I was dating someone over ten years younger, but shocked at how much I actually enjoyed spending time with him. He didn’t have the hang-ups or baggage that many of the guys my own age had. He was articulate, intelligent and incredibly funny, despite any pre-noughties cultural reference I’d make being utterly lost on him.
Plus, at the risk of sounding ridiculously TMI, the intimate stuff was pretty great. Younger men have an appreciation for women's bodies that their older counterparts just don't have. Fact. After being unmatched on reputable dating sites by men (my own age) who had set their age parameters between 'barely legal' and 'fit, blonde mid-twenties', I saw it as a small victory that I was unashamedly hooking up with a guy who was for all intents and purposes, 'too young' for me.
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But obviously, I was incredibly aware of the age gap. It wasn't like we could go hang out with his mates, or him hang out with mine. I mentioned Alex to my mother and she made a weird breathing noise - which sounded a LOT like disapproval. I got it. I knew there was no real legs in the relationship (if you could call it that), only, it irked me that people were so quick to judge.
When news broke earlier in the year that Kate might have also been stepping out with an 18-year-old (who oddly enough happens to be the son of one of her close friends, hmm), once again the media went nutso. I had to ask myself, how low is TOO low? If you are both legally of-age consenting adults, who is anyone to call it out as being wrong? However, as much as I enjoyed dating Alex, I felt that the 'age thing' was an unecessary pressure. Whether that weight was because of my own prejudice or everyone else's, I'm not so sure.
Unsurprisingly, myself and the boy gradually lost contact, although he likes to check in every now and again to see what I'm up to. And Kate? Well, Kate Moss is Kate Moss, and I love the fact that she basically flips the bird at anyone who tries define her and/or her dating habits.
Ever dated someone younger? Let us know if it's worth the shade...