Blair Witch Review: Screams, Snotty Noses & Bigger Stick Figures

Blair Witch Review: Screams, Snotty Noses & Bigger Stick Figures

The Blair Witch is back, and she's bitchier than ever...

So, if like me you felt a little meh about the Blair Witch 2016 movie, then prepare to eat a massive slice of humble pie... with a side of scream. Not only is the Blair Witch back with bloody venegence, but she's also had a bit of a modern overhaul, as in, this spook can lay some serious smack down despite technology having moved on fifteen years.

When the original The Blair Witch Project was released in 1999, it's moc-doc footage and innovative (yet ridiculously simple) plotline signalled a breakthrough in the modern horror movie genre. Filmed on a budget by directors Eduardo Sánchez and Daniel Myrick, the movie followed a trio of ghost-hunting documentary makers into some pretty effing scary woods, on a quest to find the nasty old Blair Witch whom has a penchant for creepy stick figures and well, killing people. Cue lots of screaming, weird noises and a snotty-nose shot that went on to become one of the most iconic movie scenes in recent years. 

The flick went on to smash the arse out of the box office, and paved the way for future 'found footage' movies such as Paranormal Activity and REC. In short, The Blair Witch Project remains to be one of the most important horror movies ever made, and yes, we were more than intrigued about it's 2016 sequel.

Well, I watched it last night and yes, it's pretty darn scary. Sure, it's not the original, but the new movie definitely holds up against it's game-changing older sister. Here's five reasons why you absolutely have to watch the Blair Witch this weekend... just don't go on your own. We've warned you.

1. The story picks up where we left off
Thankfully Blair Witch director Adam Wingard has remained faithful to the 1999 original, and uses a lot of the plot devices that made the first movie so great. It's fifteen years later and film student James (James Allen McCune) is planning a trip back to Burkittsville to try and find his missing sister Heather (blue-hat/snotty nose) with a film crew of equally naive youngsters. They hike into the woods...which happen to be cursed. You can guess what happens next.

2. The gore factor has increased tenfold
Whereas The Blair Witch Project preyed upon our fears by omitting the really squelchy bits, the new Blair Witch has gone for the gore jugular...quite literally. There's one particularly gross scene (honestly, the whole theatre collectively 'ewwwww'd') that'll have you checking your feet for weeks...

3. The Blair Witch is bitchier than ever
Oh, this witch is one badass spook with fifteen years of seething under her belt. In 1999 she just kind of creeped about and made weird noises. In 2016 she's chucking tents, lopping down trees and causing some serious damage with those stick figures. 

4. YouTube has a lot to answer for
Technology has moved on. Think YouTube videos, drone cameras and GPS bluetooth headsets - none of which matter a jolt when you're lost in the woods with the Blair Witch after you.

5. The obligatory snotty shot
Well, it wouldn't be a Blair Witch movie without a slightly runny-nose now would it? It's gross, it's scary. You'd think these people would carry Kleenex.

The Blair Witch opens in UK cinemas on Friday 16th September. 




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