Oh Mariah Carey.

You've given so many precious life moments over the years. It seems only fitting that you give us some stellar Bank Holiday inspo...

Here's ALL the things we want to achieve over a Bank Holiday weekend, but in reality, none of those dreamy ideas ever seem to happen - or they do, but they don't run smoothly at all.

Leave it to Mariah to show us the reality.


1. The 'activity' Sunday

Dream: It's the long weekend. The iPhone is promising good weather. Why not organise a super fun game of rounders in the local park?

Reality: The iPhone lied. The weather is hideous and we've all realised that we're actually a bit crap at team activities. Pub?

2. THAT book you've been meaning to read

Dream: To stay in with a choice bottle of vino and devour that book you've been meaning to start since last year.

Reality: You read the first chapter then become distracted by your ex's wedding pics on Facebook.

Read More: Celebrity Book Club: What The Celebrities Are Reading Right Now

3. The home improvements

Dream: You WILL put up those picture frames.

Reality: You'll TRY to put up those picture frames, become bored very quickly (why won't these nails work?!), then proceed to start vetting your profilers.

4. The digital clear out

Dream: 1,078 new emails? Sorry, what's that sound? It's you taking Gmail to the cleaners.

Reality: You've started a full-on social media cull. Remember that witch from accounts who added you after the Christmas party? It's over lady. No more perving on MY festival photos.

5. The wardrobe clear out

Dream: To purge thy closet of all unecessary garments. Give unwanted clothes to charity shop. Feel smug.

Reality: It starts off well, but you are soon surrounded by piles of ratty Breton tops and odd shoes, and this has swiftly become the worst idea you've ever, ever had.

6. An impromtu trip to the beach

Dream: Ok, so you've been on three or four dates with this nice new Tinder guy. Let's plan a romantic jaunt to the seaside.

Reality: The beach is THE coldest place on earth, plus your hair looks like it's been trapped in a candy-floss machine. Zero sexy points.

Read More: How To Get Out Of A Bad Tinder Date...

7. The planned trip to IKEA

Dream: You WILL take the trip to IKEA for space-saving shelving units.

Reality: You've made the most hideous decision in Christendom. You leave IKEA with sixteen plants, a belly full of meatballs and a complete sense of humour failure.

8. Thrifty plans

Dream: This Bank Holiday I will not spend loads of money. I will instead cook meals using the contents of my cupboards, and enjoy being non-spenny.

Reality: You go out on a three day blinder. Tuesday morning brings bank balance calamity.

9. Arts and crafts

Dream: I will utilise that cross-stitch book I ordered from Amazon months ago. Pretty soon, I will be the queen of craft.

Reality: Crafting isn't great when a) you have no materials, and b) all your mates are down the pub. Laters cross-stitch Saturday.

10. Cooking your mates dinner/having a BBQ

Dream: You invite all the gang over for Instagram-inspired nosh and board game banter.

Reality: Your housmate has melted something caustic in the oven, so any potential cullinary delights in fact taste like burnt plastic. Deliveroo?

11. Living the dream

Dream: You want to smash this BH out of the park.

Reality: If staying in and binge-watching Dawson's Creek ISN'T smashing it out of the park, then what the hell is?! Have a great long weekend people. Now live it up Mariah style!

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