Novelty Christmas jumpers? No thanks.

Novelty Christmas jumpers? No thanks.


Noel Edmunds, Phillip Schofield and Holly Willoughby: just three of the people who, come December 1st, disregard the majority of their wardrobes in favour of garish jumpers, sequins and a spattering of Fair Isle. But tacky festive dressing isn’t for everyone. Here are the top items you’ll be steering clear of if you prefer to celebrate the holidays in a more subtle style… #bahhumbug

1. Novelty Christmas jumpers

2. Star Wars Christmas jumpers. They’d never heard of Jesus on Tatooine.

3. 3D novelty jumpers #impractical


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4. Anything with sleigh bells on

5. Novelty Christmas earrings

6. Novelty Christmas earrings that require batteries because they flash and play a tune (sorry mum)

7. ‘Sexy' Christmas logos, e.g. ‘Naughty or Nice’ and ‘Jingle My Bells’

8. Logos that imply that Santa is sexy, rather than the elderly rotund fellow he actually is (what do you mean, he’s not real?)

9. Sexy Santa outfits for women. Ugh.

10. See also red silk fur trimmed lingerie


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11. People who wear tinsel instead of a scarf

12. Fair Isle prints on tight T-shirts for muscle men

13. Festive illustrated men’s ties

14. Bow ties in general

15. Elf suits for grown men. Only Will Ferrell can pull that one off.


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16. Rudolph hair bands. Particularly when worn ironically to the office.

17. Onesies in public

18. Earmuffs indoors

19. Party clutches that leave a trail of glitter in their path

20. Glitter hairspray

21. Novelty boxer shorts

22. Too much tartan

23. Too much leopard print (when did that become festive anyway?)

24. Red and white stripy tights

25. People who wear red and green


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26. Beanies that look like Christmas puddings

27. Hats that looked like cooked turkeys

28. Jumpers that light up

29. ‘Party season’ sparkly boleros

And a few things even the biggest Scrooge can resist…

Novelty Christmas socks; they’re mostly hidden

Dogs and cats in festive outfits. All day long.

Festive nail art

Onesies indoors. Nowt wrong with that.

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