Behind Every Cute Girl On Instagram Is A Guy Like Jay Z. And A Brick Wall

Intro Deck: 

Are you addicted to Instagram? Have you created an Instagram Husband? Read our checklist to find out

When we first saw Jay Z lurking in the background of Beyoncé's lift snap, we understood. Truly, Jay, we got it. You might be a Grammy award-winning rapper with a huge fan base of your own, but when you're with your wife, you're just an Instagram husband. Maybe he needs to watch this video by The Mystery Hour for some moral support...


We admit, a lot of these things apply to us, and some of us have definitely created an Instagram Husband. Have you? Here are 18 signs…

1. He gets, finally, that you need to take at least 25 pictures to find the perfect shot

2. He’s beyond being embarrassed about kneeling on the floor to get the best ankle angle

3. He’s trained his finger muscles to hold and work the large iPhone 6 with one hand

4. He wears a permanent look of defeat

5. He understands the hashtag #shoefie

6. He doesn’t drink his coffee until you’ve taken a decent shot of the latte art. Not since you shouted at him in Gail’s that time.

7. He’s willing to stand in the middle of the road to take a picture of you stepping off the curb looking wistfully into the distance, although he’s still a bit nervous since he was hit by that scooter.

READ MORE: Are you dating a basic bloke?

8. No pictures of him exist post 2013 (unless it’s in a selfie with you)

9. Under no circumstances would he consider taking a picture of you before you’ve done your make-up. He would not dare.

10. He thinks he might be getting arthritis in his right thumb

11. He’s started telling you that you need to be places ½ hour before you actually do to account for all the pictures he’ll need to take of you on the way there

12. He says you look best in ‘Valencia’

13. You’ve caught him nodding knowingly to other Instagram Husbands on train platforms/beaches/in front of sunsets

14. He looks back longingly on a time when food arrived in a restaurant and you both just ate it, while it was still actually hot

READ MORE: Why we love the dad bod

15. For his birthday he asked if you could both go for an Instagram-free meal

16. He bought you a square of marble after you complained the Ikea work surface you photograph your morning granola on wasn't pretty enough

17. Against his will he's started suggesting the best angles for photographs, like the Instagram equivalent of a golf caddy

18. He doesn't want to get a cat because he's worried you'll create a 'Mrs Paws' splinter account and then there'll be two of you to photograph

Your Instagram Husband can get help for his problem and reach out to other Instagram Husbands at

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